This is the problem of the ages for most men, and of course, there is no easy answer. One thing that could be of help is to consider a perspective change. Society has convinced us that the more like women men are, the better. Be soft, show your emotions, break down if you need to….Rubbish! Women’s attraction strategy to men is based mostly on challenge. That is, after the challenge of getting him into marriage, then how much can she manipulate or control him after that is the new game afoot.
The man who can lovingly and calmly stand his ground, doing what he believes is in the best interest of the marriage without becoming stagnant waiting to get her approval or to see whether she likes it will be better off in the long run. Of course a good leader (and a good husband) must always seek his wife’s thoughts and opinions and understand his wife’s position. But understanding and agreeing are different things. His requirement as leader is that he always decide in favor of the best interest of the marriage or household…
The reason for much angst in marriage is that women never respect (or follow) a man they can control completely. To feel most safe being “led” by a loving devoted husband, that husband would have to be emotionally free to act in the ways he believes best for the situation. Instead, most men are emotionally (and sexually) blackmailed into doing what the wife wants, many times at the expense of what is best for the relationship. The maturity and connection to faith that this requires for both people is significant, but it will work out better in the long run. Many times the arguments and push-back a husband gets are simply a test; the girl is testing (unconsciously) to see if he is strong enough to be married to her and lead the relationship confidently. He should not fail the test.
“A husband who submits to his wife’s yoke is justly held an object of ridicule. A woman’s influence ought to be entirely concealed.”
– Honore De Balzac