Sadly, it comes as a big surprise to most wives that the thing her husband longs for most in the world, above everything else, is simply that she be content. Pleased, at ease, peaceful, calm. Not in arguments with him over practically everything, not throwing up his past mistakes in his face over and over, not criticizing and micro-managing his every move as if he were an incompetent child…. but that’s the experience of most husbands. And it need not be so.
Many men will say privately that they do not feel appreciated or respected by their wives, and this bothers them a lot. Most wives have a very inaccurate idea of what appreciation and respect look like in the way the relationship goes. To treat your husband in the way he most wants to be treated by you, and speak the language your husband will understand, it’s actually pretty simple. Confirm with your words, actions and physical affection that you like him, you trust his leadership, and he is important to you. What he thinks matters. How he feels is on your radar screen. Undemanding kindness goes a long way. Make a real effort to find where you agree with him and make a real effort to discount where you don’t. Double check that you are responding to him in a way that is about being happy, and getting along, not about being right. Let him know – generously – when he is pleasing you, because he never thinks he really can. Be lavish with your words of praise and acknowledgement and very giving of your body. Most husbands are “all in” as soon as they fall in love and give their hearts. Since you have control of your heart and his too, be a good steward of that responsibility.
“There are few things more important to a man than giving away his heart. And there are few things more comforting to a man than to know the woman he gave his heart to, will protect it with her life.” Fawn Weaver