Maybe you thought this was the picture of a care-free, happy kid. Maybe you observed that the husband was enjoying some loving attention from his wife, so he was relaxed and in good spirits. And perhaps you were perceptive enough to see that the woman’s attention was very much on her husband, and that everyone around her seemed quite content and calm. It certainly looks like all of that would be true.
And that is why this is a picture of a great mom.
When you have children, whether they are yours biologically, or yours through marriage, parents have one thing to give their children that is by far the most important thing. And there’s nothing else that is as important as that one thing for the children’s future happiness and success in life. That thing is not love, it is not sympathy, it is not friendship, and it’s certainly not a long list of material things. And while things like a college education or financial assistance starting a career, or creating opportunities for travel are all very nice and have their place, still, there is one thing that is even more influential on how their adult life will turn out.
That one thing is that parents provide them a stable, respectful, loving, two-parent family in which to raise them.
There isn’t anything more important than that because your job as parents is to model the correct adult behavior, attitudes and values in marriage for your children to copy in their lives. If they do not see it in your home, if they do not witness sincere love and care, effective problem solving, dedication to the good of the whole, and letting go of the importance of self expression for a bigger purpose, they will not be able to emulate it later.
The big mistake a lot of moms make is to believe that their number one job is to be a mom. That isn’t true. Being a mom is your number one job, then by definition you’re being a wife is at least second or third down the line. Aside from the fact you can be pretty sure that’s not what your husband signed up for when he asked you to marry him, another very important point is that children should never be the center of the universe in a home. If they are, it gives them all sorts of mistaken ideas about how things work. For instance, it tends to give them a sense of entitlement to your time and attention and the resources in the home where the hierarchy instead should be God first (in a faith based home) then the marriage, then the children. If children get ahead of the marriage or spouse in priority really confuses them and makes them believe that the parents should be accountable to the children rather than the other way around. Parents are not supposed to be “waiters” for their children, but many end up being just that. And then they wonder why their children are defiant, someone, struggling in school, and not accountable for their behavior. This lack of maturity happens when the roles are reversed, and the parents end up subservient to the children either emotionally, logistically, financially, or structurally. The idea that there is any dispute about who is actually in charge, and who needs to “mind” whom creates great unrest and confusion.
Be the best Mom you can be. Let them see you giving your husband lots of respect, affection and praise. Create the peaceful, loving environment in your house because in your mid it’s peaceful and loving.In a relationship, the girl has way more power to influence others than the guy. Be that role model. If your kids see it, they will copy it, and their chances to have a successful long term relationship are much higher.